My Story Book:
https://sites.google.com/view/india-through-rama/home
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Wikipedia Trails From Indian Folk Music to Oriental Star Agencies
(Hira Devi Waiba- Pioneer of Nepali Folk songs in India: Image from Wikipedia ) Indian Folk Music - I chose this as my first article bec...
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(Personal Photo at the Grand Canyon: Photo taken March 2018) (Personal Photo of the first day of class Fall 2018: Photo tak... -
(Plane: Image from Wikimedia Commons ) My Story Book: https://sites.google.com/view/indi... -
Sita and Rama have become immortal and are now living in the modern-day world but nothing has changed. Sita is still singing the blue...
Hi Olivia! I like how your project is about mapping out Rama's journey. I know that geography is one of your favorite things, so its great that you can relate something you love to the project. I enjoyed reading the introduction. I read the passage in the voice of a flight attendant, which made me feel like I was ready to go on the trip myself. I like how you said the trip is a treasure map and the treasure is the history and folklore, because in reality the on of the best small treasures a person can receive in life is the opportunity to read anything they want. I can't wait for when you start the rest of your project. Are you going to narrate the rest of the project like you did with your intro? I think it would be a good idea to narrate it as a travel guide!
ReplyDeleteHey Olivia!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to start off by saying that I love the way you are going about your story! I think the airplane/flight attendant approach is very original and creative. Are you planning on making each entry a different location where Rama was on his story? Or are you just going to follow the story chronologically? Also, have you thought about how each entry would go? I think a 70/30 split between real content over the Ramayana and the actual current day geography of the location would be super interesting! It would be pretty cool to see what the areas actually look like today, as we are all used to "seeing" these locations through our imagination while reading. I can't wait to see what you do with the rest of your entries. Good luck!
Hi Olivia!
ReplyDeleteI think that it is so cool that you are taking a more traveling and exploring type of approach for your story! It is super unique and I do not think I have seen anything quite like it! Where did you get your inspiration to do this kind of storybook? Do you plan on just making your storybook follow the chronological order of the Ramayama? Or are you going to organize by region? I am really looking forward to how you execute this idea!
However, I will point out that there are quite a few spelling and grammar errors. There have some sentences that have dependent clauses but do not have commas to separate the sentence, and there are some sentences that are run-ons and need to be made into two separate sentences. Also, at the end it says "..powerful and have become so meaning..", but did you mean to put "so meaningful.."? Just be sure to go through and proofread your work, but other than that, this storybook is a great idea!
Good afternoon, Olivia! I wanted to say I really liked the banner image you chose for the main page of your site. The airy and colorful theme set a relaxing tone for the “trip” you embark on with your readers. I thought giving a tour that educates your readers with more of a history to the places mentioned in the stories was a really neat idea. The way you explained the significance of the history of Ayodha really made the story come to life. It’s also neat that you included links to the fare and other potentially important aspects of travel (such as transportation). The only suggestion I have, which I noticed you started to do in your last paragraph, is to include an itinerary detailing the examples of fun things visitors could do. I am really looking forward to reading all about the other places you will write about as the semester progresses.
ReplyDeleteHi Olivia,
ReplyDeleteI think your idea for a travel guide is a genius idea. I am a huge traveler and have a strange love for reading travel blogs, so your storybook stuck out to me a lot! I was able to navigate your page with such ease which is super awesome. I also loved your cover image because the way that the sun shines gives the page a dreamy feel, which is perfect for this project. One thing I think that you could benefit from is a button or some type of link to your comment wall. I put one in the footer of mine so it appears on every page, and I think that would help people be able to access your comment wall a little easier! As far of your stories go, I think you did an awesome job providing all of the information needed for the reader to understand your "travel blog" and I think that including a link to the Ramayana and Skyscanner is super clever. One thing I think would be cool is if you were to talk about things other than the typical tourist attractions of each of the places (obviously you could make some stuff up) but something like a hole-in-the-wall restaurant. Something to give the readers an "inside look" of what these places are really like!
Hi Olivia!
ReplyDeleteI would like to begin by saying how cool I think your storybook idea is. I never would have thought of it myself. Your idea is really creative and refreshing. I do appreciate the flight attendant/airplane approach. I think that I was really pulled to your website because of the traveling aspect of your story. Moreover, I also really like how you focused specifically on Rama’s journey and mapping it to present-day places.
A few suggestions that I have is to probably add a link of the comment wall to your homepage on the website. That way, it would make it easier for the reader to locate the comment wall and take them directly to the page. Another suggestion that I have is to add more images to your storybook. I feel like, especially from the traveling aspect, you’re able to find a lot of images relating to the topic of your story. Moreover, I think that it would be a great idea to show case the area and allow the reader to have a better idea of what the place looks like.
Hi Olivia,
ReplyDeleteI I thoroughly enjoyed your idea to use Rama's life experiences and navigate it through resembling a travel guide. I thought it was a super creative and enjoyable introduction to read and first story! I also specifically appreciated how you explained that the cities and sights that are a part of Rama's journey were depicted through his eyes. Additionally, the images you used of India was a nice touch. This could be especially helpful for someone reading your blog that is not familiar with the Ramayana and its origin. One thing I would suggest us adding a comment wall link, so it is easier for readers to publish comments about your stories. I would also recommend giving brief summaries in your introduction about some of the main experiences and sights to reflect the Ramayana and Rama as best as possible. You did a superb job in providing background information in your Ayodhya story, it would be great to also reflect some of that in your intro. Being descriptive usually always helps readers establish a better connection with the author and the story they are trying to tell. It also helps create a more vivid imagery.
A travel guide is such a cool idea, Olivia! It's like a mini guided tour of the Ramayana, through the eyes of its main character. I like how you didn't just stick to what was given in the story, but took liberties in providing details on how the people felt. A kingdom without its people is...not much. Including the modern map of India was a nice touch, and providing details on what it would cost to get there today was also really cool. It makes it entirely possible for someone who wanted to experience it, to go and experience it! I also like how you jump back and forth between telling the story and providing practical ways to get there. The amount of time you put into the research for this is evident. Maybe if I ever visit India, I'll be able to use this guide!
ReplyDeleteAlso, it would be nice if you included a link to this comment wall on your website. That would make it easier to comment. Trying to browse through someone's blog is not that hard, but it would be much easier with a direct link.
Hi Olivia, I enjoyed reading your story, Ayodhya.
ReplyDeleteFirst off I am a total plane geek, so when I saw your portfolio I kinda geeked out haha. Also your picture you used is an old Delta Airlines Boeing 737 if you're curious. I love the idea of a travel guide through Rama's eyes. Any tourist visiting is sure to have a wonderful time considering all the adventures, stories, and places Rama could tell talk about! I also liked how you set up your story and the way you continued to walk through it. The story was super easy to read and follow along with! I especailly liked how you guided us, the readers, through what it would be like if we were real tourists, touring the city of Ramayana. Overall I enjoyed reagin your story and love the way you are setting up your portfolio. Looking forward to reading more of your portfolio in the last few weeks!
Hi Olivia,
ReplyDeleteUsing your storybook as a travel guide is genius! Rama visited so many places in India during the Ramayana so he would make out for a great travel guide. You did an awesome job with the dialogue in your story, "Rama's Bridge." I really like how most of the story is actually conversation between the characters. I like that one workman always motivated those that were ready to give up. Finishing a task is so much easier when one has people pushing them to give their full effort. On one's own it is easy to get discouraged and want to give up. I am glad Rama took the complaints of the workman and made the job better for them. Rama very easily could have let the workman quit and then found others to work for him. Rama was a fair king and wanted the best for his people. I really enjoyed reading your story!
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ReplyDeleteHey Olivia,
I love the title of your storybook. It was definitely different and innovative. I like the format and tone of your stories. It definitely seemed like it was a page from a travel website and was very engaging. Also, I love the amount of detail you added in your storybook. You can definitely visualize the beauty of Ayodha. If I had to critique the storybook, I would say to maybe add some more detail about Rama’s bridge like how it looked like. I think this would really improve your story as it would help visualize how the bridge might have looked like. I love the images that you added in your storybook. They are really beautiful and make the storybook colorful. I definitely love the theme that you have for your stories and I can definitely see the connections between each one. Overall, I really enjoyed your storybook.
Hi Olivia!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a fascinating way to relate these stories! I didn't realize how many of the sites mentioned in the stories have real-wold locations. The pictures you used did a good job of solidifying my understanding of those locations, like showing me what Rama's Bridge actually is, or where in India Ayodhya is. I do have some constructive criticism, though. Your home page feels unnecessary. The links you provided are also at the top. It doesn't add any information. You could probably just combine your home page and introduction page into one, or perhaps have a little blurb like "Interested in Indian mythology? Looking to travel to India? Read on for a guide on travelling India following the myths of Rama." Also, none of your pages have a link to your comment wall, which is really inconvenient. I would suggest using Google sites' "button" option for a more aesthetically pleasing link.
Hi Olivia, I enjoyed reading your short story, Rama's Bridge. I thought the way you told the story through the viewpoint of one of the workers eyes was great. All the dialogue throughout your story helped to tie it all together into a fun story to read overall. For this week we are supposed to discuss our thoughts on the pictures. I think your pictures on your story are fine, however I think if you spent sometime looking for better pictures that better relate to your story, Rama's Bridge, you'll have a much better final product. I would recommend finding pictures that are not so pixelated or blurry. Find pictures that have better quality just so they dont look like they're taken from the internet even though are haha. One more quick recommendation I have is to possibly find a picture of a grand bridge and make that the main picture for your story. You could also find small pictures of tools and machinery to place throughout the reading. I think if you do those things your story will come to life more! Again great job with your story, it reads well!
ReplyDeleteHi Olivia! First of all great job with your story about Rama's bridge, I especially liked the images you found to go along with the story. It was cool that you could tie realistic pictures into this story to help make it feel more real to the reader. I felt like that was a place I wanted to visit one day! This part of the Ramayana was one of my favorite parts because I thought it was such a huge hurdle for Rama to overcome. That made me appreciate your version even more! I think you gave this story a deeper level of insight into Rama's motivation and his decisions that was really missing from the original version. I appreciated that you were able to do all of this while still staying so close to the original storyline that I enjoyed so much. Great job! I hope that I get to read more of your stories in the future!!
ReplyDeleteHi Olivia! I really like how your website is coming along! It looks very clean and professional. The content for the blog is also top notch. First, off your idea for showing India through the eyes if Rama is very creative. Given he was such a great hero he for sure would have been all around and seen some pretty crazy things. You could even say he had a top-notch look at the sub-continent. I like how on your first story you include a picture of where Ayodhya is at. Before you had added that to your story I had really no clue where it was located in India. The background you give of the city is very helpful. I didn't do any research over it so it is nice to get a little bit of background info on what is going on. I hope you have a great last few weeks in the semester!
ReplyDeleteOlivia,
ReplyDeleteWhat a great concept for your storyboard. I have found the information in your submissions to be very informative. They have added a lot of context to what we have been reading and the settings the readings take place in. Somehow, I have missed seeing this storyboard until now, but it still helps in filling contextual gaps in the stories. TO be honest, when I read your title on the blog list and then clicked on your home page, I was expecting to read a story told through the narrative of Rama as a travel guide. Not that you have to meet anyone of our individual expectations, but I wonder if this idea could add another dynamic to your informative storybook pages? I love the images you chose. In particular, seeing the aerial and satellite imagery of Rama’s land bridge, made the story of the crossing to Lanka so much richer. I hope to see another addition to your blog before the end of the semester!
Hi Olivia,
ReplyDeleteI love the concept of a travel guide! Showing it through Rama and his eyes is such a great idea too! He has such a popular story and there is so much material for it. He went so many places, you could make a really detailed travel guide. I honestly had no idea where most of these places where, so I really appreciated the pictures. You could even add more?? Just for people like me who are uneducated. I probably should have done more research, but travel guides are often picture heavy. Rama's bridge is beautiful. What does it look like from a non bird's eye view. Those were just the questions I was wondering while reading your project.